Ok so I have been conferencing with a few people about potential dates for this fiasco that I could be a part of at work. Its a surprise birthday party for my boss (the dad). So my criteria are that the guy must be an ok time (I need someone to talk to), must exhibit a certain amount of class, AND must be able to deal with some high profile people being there with out asking for a picture or autograph or whatever. SO here are the things that my "friends" have come up with.
L: "Go to my FB and look up Nick. He would be good. He works for the post office. He walks the mail and such."...what does that even mean? How does mail delivery qualify you for a good (and most importantly non embarrassing) time?
A: "Ill dress like a guy and go"...ok sure, I'd love to have a "drag queen" type date. Good. THAT fits my criteria.
M: "How about J or S. Sure they like anime but they are quite (even if its awkwardly so) so they won't embarrass you. Or I know how about C? He is social and he loves sports...but he is married."...Oh good. Maybe I could dress up as my favorite Pokemon. Better yet I can just be like, Hi Mrs. C, I know I don't know you but could your husband be my date to a work like function for the evening since he is social and into sports?....
In an effort to take matters into my own hands I opted to go to Jerry's Bait Shop and listen to a Christian band sing with a friend of mine (who is friends with all the band). (I was disregarding the fact that I generally dislike Christian music considerably and they are of the "metally screamy" genre which I dislike even more. So I go, she knows my intentions and says all the guys are really great guys. It turns out they are...however they all wear skinny jeans, have spacers and face piercings, and tattoos. Now the skinny jeans I'm personally against...man shall not wear jeans tighter than women (it was on the fine print of the first of the tablets that God/Moses wrote the 10 commandments on) however the other things are fine with me (spacers and tats and odd assortments of lip piercings). HOWEVER since I have to tell Dom and Stella (if they ever ask about my own tattoos) that they were "a big mistake and that Santa Claus didn't visit me for three years after I got them" (and I believe they added if I could work in tears that would be great), I don't think spacers, tattoo sleeves, and lip piercings will work well for this. Additionally I didn't really "click" with anyone even in the friendly way. Sigh.
Day 1 of "Find myself a sophisticated non date date" did not turn out like I hoped.
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Ahhh LOL I wish I knew someone to suggest. That sounds like quiet a party. You will have to tell me all about!
ReplyDeleteThis was the funniest thing I have read all month. I love you. You will find a date...and if you can't, I think I could seriously look like a guy without anyone knowing :)
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