The secret life of a caterer

So the other day at work my boss told me he had to go to the doctor because (and yes this is a direct quote) “I need to get a scope up my butt”. Let me give you a little back story on my boss. He is very nice. People (especially our guests) LOVE Craig. He is also very flamboyant and gay. I’m not talking Jack from Dawson’s Creek kind of gay, more like Will from Will and Grace kind of gay.

So anyway, he tells me he needs to have this colonoscopy. Wowza. If there is one thing that way jumps over the boss/employee boundary it is to know anything about my very gay boss’s anal region. A N Y T H I N G. I just told him to do what he needed to do and I hope it all turned out ok. He says to me, but you don’t understand Megan I’m bleeding down there. OK. Enough. NO MORE. Just take care of it Craig.

So, the next week he comes into work and tells me he has to have surgery because when they “put the scope up my butthole they found hemorrhoids…really big hemorrhoids”. Once again I feel like this is a huge jump over the Boss/employee line. However, I just simply tell Craig I’m glad it isn’t worse. To this he responds, oh well it gets worse. (Of course it does). I also have Vagina warts. (Ok. Lets be real. Vagina warts? Seriously. You don’t HAVE a vagina. And again way more information then I need. Vagina warts….) I was able to mostly keep it together and express my sympathies while quickly extracting myself from the fount of information that was my boss.

All this has lead me to the conclusion that people talk if you listen. Heck, people talk if you don’t listen. Here is to hoping I never again have to have a conversation with a boss that includes the words butthole or vagina warts.